In the past two weeks I’ve seen three movies: Music and Lyrics, Reno 911!: Miami, The Lives of Others (Das Leben der Anderen). Because my opinion, like that of all bloggers, totally matters, I will share it with everyone on the world-wide internets.

Music and Lyrics
This film was a cinematic masterpiece worthy of an Academy Award nomination for Best Picture of 2007.
OK, obviously that’s total BS. The movie’s plot is thinner than a coked out Nicole Richie. But let’s be honest, comrades…no one sees a Hugh Grant movie for the plot or groundbreaking cinematography. We go for the eye candy and that adorable British accent.

Hugh Grant still looks as adorable as ever even though he is 46. WTF!? Hugh Grant is 46!? That’s effin’ crazy! He’s soooo old. I mean, it seems like just yesterday he was cruising around Sunset Boulevard in his BMW looking for prostitutes. My, how time flies.

Anyways, Music and Lyrics follows the typical Hugh Grant movie plot: Sarcastic British Boy lives in Big City. Boy becomes attracted to slightly bizarre Girl. Girl also becomes attracted to Boy (well, it’s Hugh Grant, so obv). Boy does something stupid that pisses Girl off. After much introspection, Boy realizes he was a dumbass and begs Girl for forgiveness, employing some cute antics that usually result in public embarrassment of Boy. Surprise! Girl forgives Boy. Boy and Girl live happily ever after in Big City. Blah blah blah.

The weakness of the plot is excused, however, because this particular film is inundated with Hugh Grant dancing a la Love Actually. I, for one, could not get enough of Hugh Grant shaking his ass to the Pointer Sisters and dancing around 10 Downing Street. Yeah, the movie isn’t brain food, but it’s nevertheless entertaining.

Be forewarned, however, that an ultra-cheesy song in the movie called “Pop! Goes My Heart” will be stuck in your head for days – nay, weeks! It’s effin’ painful. I suggest blasting some Rage Against the Machine after leaving the theatre in order to rid your head of that pop nonsense.

And in somewhat related news, Hugh split with his girlfriend, whatshername, oh yeah, Jemima. Dude, call me!

Reno 911!: Miami

There’s not much to say about Reno 911!: Miami other than…it’s hilarious. If you’re a fan of the Comedy Central show, then you’ll love it. If you’ve never seen the show before you will probably still enjoy it, and perhaps be motivated to rent the DVDs of the actual TV show.

The Lives of Others (Das Leben der Anderen)
The Lives of Others is the Academy Award-winning (Best Foreign Language) German film exploring the role of the Stasi (Ministry for State Security) in East Germany – a country that, in many respects, did its best to “out-Soviet” its Soviet patrons. Yeah, I know, quite a change from the mindlessness of Hugh Grant and Lieutenant Dangle’s hotpants. I loved this film (I’m a huge Cold War buff, obv) and thought it did an amazing job of showing the viewer how the Stasi pervaded every facet of East German society – bugging each room of your tiny apartment, opening your mail, and turning your wives, husbands, friends, and co-workers into informants who would report on your alleged “crimes” against the state.

If you don’t get in line, we’ll lock you away

If you have any interest in the Cold War, I would highly recommend this film. Afterwards, pick up a copy of Timothy Garton Ash’s fascinating book, “The File: A Personal History“, which details his own efforts to locate his personal Stasi file and track down his “friends” who informed the Stasi about every detail of his life while he studied in East Berlin.

Not many other movies out right now that I want to see…well, except for “Breach”…I heard that one is good. But “Norbit” and “The Number 23?” Who in their effin’ mind greenlights this stuff?

The cast is excellent, even though at first glance you are probably thinking “What the..?”

A few notable cast members:
Donnie Wahlberg (yes, the guy from New Kids on the Block)
David Schwimmer (aka Ross from Friends)
Ron Livingston (Peter Gibbons from Office Space)
Jimmy Fallon (from Saturday Night Live…has a very small role in BoB)
Schwimmer does seem a bit out of place as the company commander, especially when he is being a huge jackass (which is pretty much the entire time he is on-screen) but you get used to it.

Anyways, watch Band of Brothers if you haven’t seen it…it’s only 10 hours long!

Today I saw the movie “Miracle”, the true story of the US hockey team’s victory over the Soviet team in the 1980 Winter Olympics. It was pretty good, but I am partial to any movie that has a) hockey, and b) the US vs USSR. Would “Mighty Ducks” have been as entertaining if it was about basketball? No. Would “Rocky IV” have been such a cinematic masterpiece if Rocky was boxing, say, a Frenchman or Canadian? No way. And oh yeah, I’m being sarcastic.

Anyways, it was a good movie. Go check it out if you have some free time.

There was a preview for David Duchovny’s new movie…I can’t recall the title, but that doesn’t matter because it looks absolutely terrible. David, where has your career gone?

There was also a preview for “Around the World in 80 Days,” which looks promising, except for the fact that my Governor – Arnold Schwarzenegger – is in it.

Let me repeat this…

MY GOVERNOR IS ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER!

It’s kind of hard to believe he’s my governor…and then I see him on TV…oh, how sad this state really is! The voters of California put the world’s 5th largest economy in the hands of the Terminator…thanks, fellow citizens!

Last night a group of us saw Step Into Liquid, the new surf film by Dana Brown, the son of Bruce Brown of The Endless Summer fame.  You MUST see this (preferably not at DuPont Circle 5, though…that theater is horrible).  It was an awesome surf movie – surfing scenes from Hawaii, Maverick’s in NorCal, Tahiti, Vietnam, Cortez Bank (100 miles offshore of San Diego) and believe it or not, Great Lakes surfing in Wisconsin and oil tanker surfing in Texas.  Amazing.  Unfortunately, I’m still stuck far away from a beach….not for long, though.

Supposedly, Hugh Grant is tired of acting and wants to quit.  This will just not do – what movies will Liz, Laura, Cindy, and I watch during our study breaks?  I suppose we could recycle the same movies over and over, but I would much prefer that Mr Grant continue to provide us with those adorable romantic comedies.  Grant says he would like to get married and settle down…where do I send my application?