I’m bored, and don’t have much to write about. Office Depot has been alright…not too busy, but that still doesn’t mean I want to be there. Here are a few places I’d rather be than Office Depot:
- Death Valley in July
- stuck in traffic on Interstate 10, with a broken CD player and nothing but Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity on the radio
- a Toby Keith concert in (insert random southern state here)
- seated next to several crying babies while on an 11 hour trans-Atlantic flight
- New Jersey
My work schedule for next week is pretty messed up. On Monday I work 6pm-2:30am and from Tuesday – Friday I work from 9pm-5:30am (and yes, you read that correctly). We are “remerching” the tech department which basically means that we are moving everything around and we can only accomplish this when there are no customers in the store, hence my crazy work hours. My sleep schedule is going to be extremely whacked, but I suppose it will be similar to the all-nighters I would pull during finals week…but instead of cramming my head full of facts about the Cold War, I will be moving merchandise around.
When I was in Moscow last year I purchased a map of the Soviet Union (along with a few trillion souvenirs). I finally got around to having it framed…now it hangs on my wall like so:
Have you ever wondered how rich people protest? In their limos, of course! Exiled Russian oligarch Boris Berezovsky organized a protest against the Russian government by attaching signs to 100 limos and parking them outside the Russian Embassy in London:
The limousines drove up and down Park Lane in West London before parking outside the Russian Embassy adjacent to Hyde Park. There, Berezovsky displayed dozens of placards and banners, whose slogans included “Free Khodorkovsky,” “Russian Business vs. Police State,” and “Russian Business vs. KGB.”
Moscow has been named as one of the 5 finalists for the 2012 summer Olympic games. The other finalists are New York, Paris, London and Madrid. Honestly, I don’t think Moscow stands a chance against the other cities…I’m guessing the Olympic committee just named them a finalist in order to boost the self-esteem of Muscovites….or, better yet, a Russian mobster bribed a few of the committee members (hmm remember the figure skating scandal?)
Russian border guards have been ordered to deal politely with travelers. Apparently, the guards now have to smile and greet you…wow…can’t wait to see this.
Dell is also running some amusing ads in Russia…I didn’t know Dell sold computers in Russia, but it turns out that they certainly do.
The ads for Dell computers go further still. One features a cartoonish anti-globalist babbling something about the power of the multinationals. In another we see a no less cartoonish intellectual complaining about the vulgarity of advertising and the corruption of the Russian language by Americanisms. Both characters then open their Dell notebook computers and the breezy announcer reminds us that whatever we might think about America, the quality of its computers is beyond doubt. You can’t help noticing that these ads provide no information about the computer itself and are prepared to sacrifice the product and even the brand to promote a more general message. Indeed, the point is that these ads are not about computers. They are intended to convince us that the system all around us is good, and that its critics cannot be trusted.
It’s a shame that the Russians never had an equivalent to the “Dude, you’re getting a Dell!” commercials that we had here in the U.S.
GWU was mentioned again in The Onion. I think this is the third time that a fictional character has hailed from my alma mater. Hmm is a GW alum writing for The Onion? If so, one thing is for certain…they must not have been a member of the Hatchet’s writing staff…those guys wouldn’t know “funny” if it ran up to them and pummeled their pathetic existence into the ground…they throw a few dirty jokes and poorly Photoshopped pictures in the April Fool’s edition and proclaim themselves to be masters of humor. (If you didn’t notice already, I am not the biggest fan of the Hatchet).
Enough rambling for now…