About

I'm an expat Californian who is obsessed with traveling to strange and exotic destinations in the former Communist Bloc. I also like tacos, surfing, and the geopolitics of oil. Washington, D.C. is currently my home, but I'm looking to break out of this fetid swamp someday. Read more about me here, check out my photo album, or send me an e-mail.

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Reading: Telex From Cuba

Watching: Nothing, really

Listening to: Jack's Mannequin, Rage Against the Machine, Arcade Fire, Gogol Bordello, The Clash

Playing: Soccer and Wiffleball (finally!)

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April 05, 2008

"Big Oil" testifies before Congress

This past Tuesday, executives from Exxon Mobil, Shell, BP, Chevron, and ConocoPhillips appeared before Rep. Edward Markey's "Select Committee on Energy Independence and Global Warming" to defend their company's profits. Apparently, Congress is bored with steroids in baseball and wants to prove to their constituents back home that they are "doing something" about those high gas prices. Granted they can't actually do anything about the price of oil and gas, but they can claim they "took on Big Oil" when it comes time to print lit and film the TV commercials for the next election.

The committee's chairman, Rep. Edward Markey, D-Mass., pressed Exxon Mobil's Simon to explain why his company couldn't commit 10 percent of its investments to renewable energy.

"Why is Exxon Mobil resisting the renewable revolution?" he asked.

Uh, Exxon Mobil is an oil company. Oil companies will invest money in renewable energy technologies if their finance guys conclude that the technologies are a worthwhile use of their time and money, not just because some Congressman wants them to do so.

Markey said lawmakers will likely call oil executives up to Capitol Hill again in coming months if gasoline prices don't fall.

"They are going to be the winners of the most frequent visitors to Washington contest," he told reporters.

Yeah, Markey, because falling gas prices will really spur the investment in alternatives that you were just demanding of the oil companies. What do you want, higher prices that lead to lowered demand, or a magical drop in gasoline prices that will lead to increased consumption? W...T...F?

If I was an oil company CEO, I don't think I could ever testify before Congress. The political grandstanding exhibited by the Congressmen questioning me would either a) force me to pull a Nick Naylor; or b) make my brain explode, thereby providing some entertainment for the three people that actually watch C-SPAN.

March 23, 2008

Disgraceful, yet not at all surprising

In today's Washington Post:

During his nearly four years as a translator for U.S. forces in Iraq, Saman Kareem Ahmad was known for his bravery and hard work. "Sam put his life on the line with, and for, Coalition Forces on a daily basis," wrote Marine Capt. Trent A. Gibson.

Gibson's letter was part of a thick file of support -- including commendations from the secretary of the Navy and from then-Maj. Gen. David H. Petraeus -- that helped Ahmad migrate to the United States in 2006, among an initial group of 50 Iraqi and Afghan translators admitted under a special visa program.

Last month, however, the U.S. government turned down Ahmad's application for permanent residence, known as a green card. His offense: Ahmad had once been part of the Kurdish Democratic Party, which U.S. immigration officials deemed an "undesignated terrorist organization" for having sought to overthrow former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein.

Ahmad, a Kurd, once served in the KDP's military force, which is part of the new Iraqi army. A U.S. ally, the KDP is now part of the elected government of the Kurdish region and holds seats in the Iraqi parliament. After consulting public Web sites, however, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services determined that KDP forces "conducted full-scale armed attacks and helped incite rebellions against Hussein's regime, most notably during the Iran-Iraq war, Operation Desert Storm and Operation Iraqi Freedom."

Ahmad's association with a group that had attempted to overthrow a government -- even as an ally in U.S.-led wars against Hussein -- rendered him "inadmissible," the agency concluded in a three-page letter dated Feb. 26.

Yes, you read that correctly. A man who put his life on the line for the U.S. military in Iraq was denied a green card because he was once part of a group that sought to OVERTHROW SADDAM HUSSEIN. Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. Forget the green card, give this dude citizenship.

March 02, 2008

Ben Stein on Big Oil, again

When I was in California a few weeks ago, my dad told me that he thought I was turning into a Republican. I'm not, I was just angry that I had to pay the IRS a lot of money (and this was before they hit me up for the extra $2,000) which our government overlords would just fritter away on useless projects, like TSA blogs.

Anyways, read this essay by Ben Stein. I may not be a member of his party, but he has a point.

Mr. Obama is clearly an intelligent man. So it may not be too early to start a small process of education about Exxon Mobil and other oil companies and why attacking them is not smart. First, Exxon Mobil, like all the other gigantic integrated energy companies in this country, is owned not by a cabal of reactionary businessmen holding clandestine meetings in a lodge in the Texas scrublands (as Oliver Stone so brilliantly illustrated in “Nixon”).

Exxon Mobil, in fact, is owned mostly by ordinary Americans. Mutual funds, index funds and pension funds (including union pension funds) own about 52 percent of Exxon Mobil’s shares. Individual shareholders, about two million or so, own almost all the rest. The pooh-bahs who run Exxon own less than 1 percent of the company.

When Exxon Mobil earns almost $12 billion in a quarter, or $41 billion in a year, as it did in 2007, that money does not go into the coffers of a few billionaire executives quaffing Champagne in Texas. It goes into the pension and retirement accounts of ordinary citizens. When Exxon pays a dividend, that money goes to pay for the mortgages and oxygen tanks and in-home care of lots of elderly Americans.

So, Mr. Obama, which union pension plans — and which blue-collar workers who benefit from them — will be among the first you would like to deprive of the income that flows from Exxon’s rich dividends?

When Mr. Obama or his Democratic rival, my fellow Yale Law School graduate Hillary Rodham Clinton, go after the oil companies and want to take away their profits, they are basically seeking to lower the income of the ordinary American. Why do that? It’s just cutting off one end of a blanket and sewing it to the other.

Years ago, there was a comic strip called “Pogo” by Walt Kelly, and the possum who was its hero uttered a deservedly famous line: “We have met the enemy and he is us.” This applies to Big Oil. Its profits are our income. Its employees are overwhelmingly not millionaires — and, by the way, it’s not illegal or evil to be a millionaire. They are our neighbors and the people who get us the gasoline to run our cars and trucks and the oil to heat our homes.

And, after expenses, the money hauled in by Exxon Mobil and other companies like it goes vastly more toward exploration and finding new ways of delivering oil and gas to us slobs in our cars than it does to well-heeled oil executives. It may be a scary fact, but we need the oil companies.

Meanwhile, all over the world, from Russia to Venezuela to Africa to the sands of the Mideast, nations with large oil reserves are making it harder for American energy companies to get their hands on oil and gas. If they succeed and re-cartelize the price, current prices may look cheap.

We should not be beating up Exxon Mobil and its brethren and making them cry uncle to Uncle Sam. A better policy might be to keep making sure they have no role in price-fixing, and then to encourage them to go after and lock up as much oil and gas as they can for us to burn up. We would be better off with stronger oil companies that can serve our energy needs for the long haul than with weak and overtaxed oil companies that cannot deliver the needed juice.

Finally, envy is simply not good economics. It has never led anywhere except to trouble, and we have enough divisions in this country already. As I said, Mr. Obama is a smart man. And Senator Clinton is a smart woman. I have worked in politics and with politicians. I know they have to say crowd-pleasing things (just as Republican leaders have to say that cutting taxes raises revenue).

But I respectfully suggest that they might want to reconsider their attack on Big Oil. After all, Big Oil is big us. And we need us.

(And no, I do not work for ExxonMobil, but always thought it would be pretty awesome to do so).

January 17, 2008

New Hampshire Reflections

No, not regarding the recent primary results. More like four years ago. I wrote a few blog entries while I was working in New Hampshire in 2004, but a recent "Can you believe it's been four years already?" e-mail from a fellow campaign intern started me on this. I don't have a candidate for this primary, as none of them appeal to me (yet), but all of the recent media coverage made me think, "Damn, I kinda miss that place."

New Hampshire is Clark Country
Wishful thinking

I arrived in Manchester, New Hampshire on January 7, 2004, loaded down with a duffel bag stuffed with recently acquired winter gear and only a vague idea of what I would be doing for a month. Three of my friends from GW were waiting outside the security checkpoint, Clark signs in hand, to take me to campaign headquarters. They had spent part of their winter break working for the campaign and had sent back amazing reports of what it was like working "in the trenches" of a Presidential primary. I couldn't wait to get out there.

Being in New Hampshire at that time was a political science major's dream. This was the real deal, the ideal place for a political junkie fresh out of college. I was hardcore into politics while at George Washington University (naturally, with GW's location, most GW students were), and spent a considerable amount of time with the College Democrats roaming the suburbs of Virginia and Maryland every weekend to drum up support for whatever Democratic candidate was running. Most of them lost. General Wesley Clark was my man for the 2004 Presidential primary, and I spent my last semester at GW working with GW for Clark and DC for Clark on various events and fundraisers. I had decided to graduate from GW a semester early, and, suddenly without a job, still awaiting a decision from LSE, and generally having no direction in life, I signed on as an intern for the Clark campaign in New Hampshire.

After checking in at campaign headquarters, and then becoming sidetracked with a flat tire in the freezing cold weather, we arrived at the campaign housing, affectionately known as the "slophouse." It was a two bedroom, one bath apartment that was completely devoid of furniture and contained only a few moldy kitchen appliances. There were about 20 people living there, with suitcases, sleeping bags, and other personal items strewn throughout the apartment. It was a difficult place to sleep, what with the hardwood floors, unreliable heating, and dozens of people snoring loudly. Compared to this, my dorm room back in Moscow was like a suite at the Ritz Carlton.

Early next morning we were back at headquarters with little to do except drink coffee and eat Dunkin' Donuts. Too many interns, not enough assignments to go around. Field office directors were in Manch that day, loading up on supplies and trolling for volunteers to man their understaffed offices. A director from the Lakes Region asked me if I'd be willing to work up there. I was a bit hesitant, considering that Manch was the epicenter of the state's political activity, but HQ was overrun with interns who had nothing to do, and the promise of a comfortable bed sealed the deal (I'm easily swayed by certain comforts).

And what a bed it was. I graduated from the "Slophouse" to "Clarkingham Palace", a large 18th- century farmhouse in Alton Bay that served as a vacation rental during the warmer summer months. Along with a field director, there were four of us interns living there, and we each had our own bedroom with a nice full-size bed, in addition to a TV, full kitchen, laundry, and maid service - definitely the nicest accommodations I've ever had while on a campaign, and a refreshing place to crash after a long day of work.

Belgian draft horse at Alton Bay farmhouse
It really was a farmhouse

Our Laconia office was staffed by two full-time field directors, four interns, and a retired couple who drove up from Georgia to lend a hand for a few weeks. We had a lot of help from the locals, who came in to the office to assist with phone banking, letter writing, and occasionally feeding us delicious home-cooked meals. A few college groups drove up on weekends, but they were practically useless, as they spent most of their time on "breaks" getting drunk at Applebee's and roaming the aisles of the New Hampshire state liquor store.

Updating the voter database
Updating the MS Access voter database - the less glamorous side of campaign work

Phone banking
Phone banking, even worse

The work we performed was more or less the typical assignments you encounter on any campaign (phone banking, visibility, lit drops, etc) and we worked 12-14 hours a day, seven days a week out of the field office in Laconia, about a half hour drive from the farmhouse. I subsisted primarily on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Mountain Dew, and Clark Bars (get it?) and found myself performing incredibly bizarre (to me, at least) activities, like pounding gigantic 4x8 signs into frozen snow and lugging 20 gallons of pancake mix around the Belknap Mill. When the temperature was tolerable (i.e, not in the negatives) we were loaded down with pamphlets and American Son DVDs (the short documentary on Clark) and handed neighborhood maps. We were supposed to knock on the doors of registered voters and hand all this stuff out. If I lived in New Hampshire, I'd probably get pretty sick of all these out of state people knocking on my door, but they were all very friendly. Some of them mentioned I looked really cold and invited me in for hot chocolate or coffee. I was a bit shocked, as we don't generally invite random door-knocking strangers into our houses back in California, and the whole thing seemed to be the making of a horrible Lifetime movie.

"Are you people CRAZY?!" I wanted to shout at them. "I could be an axe murder. Do you think I'm crazy? You could be an axe murderer! But please, take this free Clark DVD and consider voting for the General."

Stolen Howard Dean propaganda
Managed to acquire some Howard Dean propaganda while on a lit drop

Sign making
Putting those kindergarten coloring skills to use

That month in New Hampshire was the coldest weather I had ever experienced in my life. Temperatures often dipped into the negatives, and it got to the point where 20 degrees seemed like a warm, brisk temperature. As someone who grew up in an area where winter temperatures averaged in the 70s, I was completely fascinated by the place. How could someone live in this weather, year after year? Why doesn't everyone just pack up and move to Arizona? And what's with all the shrinkwrapped boats?

The region that we were responsible for included Lake Winnipesaukee, which covers 69 square miles of New Hampshire. Every day we would pass hundreds of boats that had been pulled out of the now frozen lake and shrinkwrapped in a blue plastic material. It's not something you see in San Diego or Orange County, so I found it intriguing. While on a lit drop one day, I nearly drove Paul crazy, as I would not shut up about the shrinkwrapped boats. "Dude, that looks so weird! How do you think they do that?!" At one point, he turned the car down a side road and stopped in front of a boat repair and supply center. "I am sick of hearing about this shrinkwrapping! Get out of the car!" Inside the store were three older guys talking about…well, probably boats, I guess. They eyed us suspiciously and asked if we needed anything.

"Well, go ahead and ask them!"

"Yeah, uh, I was just wondering…how do you shrinkwrap boats?"

They explained the process (it apparently involves a heat gun of some sort) and then asked where we were from. Obviously, if I was asking about shrinkwrapping boats I couldn't have been a local, and the Clark button outed me as yet another carpetbagging campaign worker.

"California, near Palm Springs."

"Palm Springs, eh? I hear it's nothin' but rich people out there. That true?"

"Uh, no. Well, we should probably get back to work. Thanks!"

They were dyed in the wool Republicans, anyways. There was no use in trying to convert them.

New Hampshire debate rally
Rallying outside the candidate's debate

In addition to lit drops, phone banking, and visibility we were usually planning and staffing events meant to introduce the candidate to local voters. This is when our schedules were the most intense, but at the same time it was the most enjoyable part of working on the campaign. One day, we were out of the house at 6am to plant a ton of Clark '04 signs along the highway and then off to the Belknap Mill to prep for the pancake breakfast that Clark was speaking at. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to make pancakes for 300 hungry voters? A LOT. Immediately after the breakfast we headed to the Holderness Central School to do setup for a "Conversation with Clark" town hall event, and following that, we were off to another Clark rally with 2,000 in attendance. By the end of the day I could recite his stump speech word for word.

Pancake breakfast prep
Pancake breakfast prep

Pembroke Rally
Met up with Jon, Chad, and Marcus at the Pembroke rally while they were on a campaign trip with GW for Clark

Our final event with Clark was held the evening before the primary. He was following a grueling schedule that would have him swinging through all ten of New Hampshire's counties to thank his supporters and sway any undecided voters. Each field office was tasked with securing a location for the event, building an attendees list, and taking care of all the logistics. We decided to hold our event, for whatever reason, at the farmhouse we had been living in for the past month, and crammed a large group of locals and members of the press into the first floor of the house.

Group with General Clark
"Dude, the General's coming to the farmhouse? Guess I should make my bed."

Later that night, as we were driving back from the office (yes, it was back to the office for a few hours of work after the farmhouse event) we heard over the radio that Clark had won Dixville Notch and Hart's Location, the two small towns in New Hampshire where the polls open at midnight and close several minutes later after the dozen or so residents have cast their votes. We took it as a very positive sign and a possible foreshadowing of the next day's results (especially considering that only a few minutes prior to that, the local radio was playing Outkast's "Hey Ya", our unofficial campaign song).

It was not to be so, however. After a long and final day of last minute phone calls and visibility in single digit temperatures, we drove down to Manch for the rally with Clark. After all our work, Clark placed third, ahead of John Edwards only by the skin of his teeth. I was disappointed, of course, but even more so than usual (by that time I had become accustomed to working for losing candidates) because out of all the candidates I've worked for, he was the only one I've ever truly admired. Clark was a brilliant man, but he wasn't a seasoned politician and was hampered by several missteps and infighting that plagued the early days of the campaign. That following morning I caught a flight back to California. The campaign moved on to South Carolina, hoping for a strong finish in that Southern state's February 3rd primary. Many of Clark's supporters remained optimistic following the results in New Hampshire, and I tried to be as well, but as I sat in the terminal waiting for my flight home, I felt that the campaign was over for us. Two weeks later, it officially was.

October 27, 2007

Heckuva job, FEMA

This is not an article from The Onion...this really happened:

The Federal Emergency Management Agency staged a fake news conference this week, with agency staff officials, pretending to be reporters, peppering one of their own bosses with decidedly friendly questions about the response to the California fires, the Department of Homeland Security acknowledged Friday.

[...]

The questions from the staff were posed after FEMA gave reporters only 15 minutes notice for a news conference on Tuesday, meaning that other than television camera crews, no reporters showed up before questioning began. A toll-free telephone line was provided so reporters could listen in, but it was not set up to allow questions.

As a result, staff members asked Mr. Johnson a series of friendly questions like, “Are you happy with FEMA’s response so far?” and, “What lessons learned from Katrina have been applied?”

Mr. Johnson gave no indication that the questions came from his own staff.

“I’m very happy with FEMA’s response so far,” Mr. Johnson said in response to one question, according to a transcript.

I love it. Very...Soviet-esque.

October 19, 2007

Reprogramming that basic Russian DNA

From Bush's most recent press conference (don't bother reading the entire transcript, it's too painful).

Q. And what would it mean for Russian democracy if, when you leave power, assuming you do, in January 2009 -- (laughter) -- if Vladimir Putin is still in power?

THE PRESIDENT: You know, one of the interesting -- well, my leadership style has been to try to be in a position where I actually can influence people. And one way to do that is to have personal relationships that enable me to sit down and tell people what's on my mind without fear of rupturing relations. And that's how I've tried to conduct my business with Vladimir Putin. We don't agree on a lot of issues; we do agree on some. Iran is one; nuclear proliferation is another. Reducing our nuclear warheads was an issue that we agreed on early.

But I believe that diplomacy requires good relations at the leadership level. That's why, in Slovakia, I was in a position to tell him that we didn't understand why he was altering the relationship between the Russian government and a free press -- in other words, why the fress press was becoming less free. And I was able to do -- he didn't like it. Nobody likes to be talked to in a way that may point up different flaws in their strategy. But I was able to do so in a way that didn't rupture relations. He was able to tell me going into Iraq wasn't the right thing. And to me that's good diplomacy. And so I'm -- and I'll continue to practice that diplomacy.

Now, in terms of whether or not it's possible to reprogram the kind of basic Russian DNA, which is a centralized authority, that's hard to do. We've worked hard to make it appear in their interests -- we made it clear to them that it is in their interests to have good relations with the West. And the best way to have good long-term relations with the West is to recognize that checks and balances in government are important, or recognize there are certain freedoms that are inviolate. So Russia a complex relationship, but it's an important relationship to maintain.

WTF does that mean? Hey, Russia, you guys aren't getting this whole democracy concept so we're gonna have to reprogram your DNA, ok? Isn't he constantly decrying stereotypes like these in his speeches on democracy in the Middle East?

WashPost has a semi-scathing editorial on the remark.

June 27, 2007

Required reading: June 27, 2007

Facebook in 40 years - will we still have Facebook profiles when we're 65?

MySpace for the proletariat, Facebook for the bourgeoise? If I have both, does that make me an equal opportunity class enemy?

Are there really no Republicans left in California? Foreign Nationals Hired For 2 California GOP Posts (this really is a hilarious story)

Uh, when has this guy ever seen the inside of a foxhole?

Tired Of Traffic? A New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk'

Music festivals all over the former Communist Bloc - It's like Coachella, but in Eastern Europe

New Cold War museum opens in Moscow
- gas masks and Geiger counters optional

WSJ: Gazprom Pipeline Plan May Fuel Worry...Trust Russia on energy, Putin tells Balkan countries...meanwhile, the Nabucco pipeline project falters

putin_sunglasses.jpg
Nice shades, Vlad

Can U.S. Adopt Europe's Fuel-Efficient Cars? Yeah, right.

Considered but Discarded Names for the Indie Band Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin

June 24, 2007

This week's required reading: June 17-24, 2007

I read a lot of news and blogs, most of it about Russia or energy. Here's what you should read, too:

World's most expensive cities? Two of my favorite, of course. Moscow takes the #1 spot while London comes in second.

Berlin hotel recreates East Germany Honecker portraits on the wall? Yeah, count me in!

Go Trabi Go! A Rattletrap East German Icon Has Its Day Again

Awesome color photos from the Russian Empire, taken by Sergei Mikhailovich Prokudin-Gorskii

Russian president says no one should seek to make Russia feel guilty about Stalin-era purge
Speaking with the teachers, Putin suggested the United States' use of atomic weapons against Japan at the end of World War II was worse than the abuses of Stalin.

Surprise, surprise, Gazprom wrestles control of the Kovykta gas field from BP. Related: Gazprom woes could hurt Putin's drive for energy dominance, Investing in Russia: A BP perspective

Retired Gen. George Washington Criticizes Bush's Handling Of Iraq War (The Onion)

Touring North Korea. Yes, I still really want to do this. Maybe in '08.

Pyongyang rollercoaster: I've been on some pretty scary roller coasters (hello, Cedar Point amusement park) but I don't know if you could drag me onto this one in Pyongyang, North Korea.

Creed Bratton's blog, www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts, lives! (Video)

June 19, 2007

The Watergate burglaries and HoJo's room 419

This past Sunday marked the 35th anniversary of the Watergate burglaries that subsequently led to the downfall of President Richard Nixon. I wasn't alive in 1972 (and thank god for that, because life without cell phones, e-mail, google, and wikipedia must have been downright boring!) but the Watergate burglaries hold a special place in this former GW polisci major's heart.

watergate
The view from room 419

If you read through this incredibly detailed Wikipedia article on the burglaries, you will see many references to room 419 of the Howard Johnson's Motor Lodge, which stood directly across the street from the Watergate building. This was the room that members of the "Plumber's Unit" used as a monitoring post during the May 1972 break-ins and phone-tapping of the Democratic National Committee's headquarters on the sixth floor of the Watergate:

Alfred Baldwin had been hired by James McCord, and on 26 May 1972 was the "monitor," or lookout, in room 419 of the Howard Johnson's. According to both [G. Gordon] Liddy and [Howard] Hunt, one of only four walkie-talkies available that night had been allocated to Baldwin for use in room 419. Another walkie-talkie had been allocated to McCord, who, according to some of the conflicting accounts, also was in room 419 with Baldwin throughout the entire dinner.

[...]

Hunt has said that there was a "guard change at eight o'clock," after which McCord had taped the locks. He then states that "a little after ten o'clock" word came from McCord—who was in room 419 of the Howard Johnson's—that the DNC headquarters were empty, so the Cubans "made ready to go."

[...]

According to Hunt, McCord came from "the Listening Post"—room 419 of the Howard Johnson's across the street—to report that there had been "little activity" in the Democratic headquarters that day. Hunt says, "the blinds had been conveniently raised, permitting observation from the Listening Post, and as matters stood, only one employee was in the sixth-floor offices" of the DNC. Liddy, though, has said that "to see into the DNC offices", a room was needed on a higher floor of the Howard Johnson's than room 419, and such a room was not rented by McCord until the following day, 29 May 1972, when records show that McCord rented room 723.

GWU HOVA dorm

Fast forward 28 years later, to the Fall of 2000, when a young Californian arrived at the George Washington University with her freshman year housing assignment in hand: Room 419, The Hall on Virginia Avenue dormitory (or HOVA, as we affectionately called it), formerly the Howard Johnson's Motor Lodge until it was purchased by GWU in 1999 and converted to student housing.

GWU HOVA dorm
Old HoJo's

It was bizarre living in a hotel room for an entire year, but I loved it. Compared to other college freshman, we were incredibly spoiled: private bathrooms, spacious rooms, HBO and Showtime, A/C, and weekly maid service. And yet, while living there my roommate and I had no idea that our room played a minor role in the scandal that brought down an American President. I didn't find out about this until a few years later, when my friend (and fellow HOVA resident) Will came across the room 419 link while researching the Watergate break-ins for a college paper.

GWU HOVA dorm

As history goes, though, room 723, the monitoring post on the night of the June 17th arrests, stole all the glory, leaving room 419 to languish in obscurity.


Laura and I visiting the old room during Grad Week 2004

I can guarantee you, though, that the room 419 of May 1972 was not decorated as awesomely as it was when I lived there:


I'm guessing the walls weren't plastered with Democratic memorabilia in '72 (Yeah, this is back from my activist days when I actually cared about all that political BS). Please disregard any signs you believe to be illegally acquired.

June 06, 2007

D.C. story of the day

This afternoon, while leaving work, I hopped into an elevator headed to the ground floor. It was completely full of furniture that a guy was moving to another office, but there was just enough room for me to wedge myself into the front corner. As the doors were closing, a taller, older gentleman in an impeccable suit thrust his hand through and looked around.

"Got enough room for one more?"

I paused my iPod ("I'm Shipping Up To Boston" by Dropkick Murphys), gave him a kind of "Dude are you serious? Look at all this goddamn furniture in here" look, shrugged my shoulders, and replied "Uh, yeah, I guess so."

And that's how I ended up crammed in between a desk, several filing cabinets, and Senator John Kerry and his aide (room for one?) for seven floors. Up close and personal, for real.

john_kerry.jpg

Apparently he has some sort of office on the same floor as mine. No idea why, but he does. This inevitably means that I will run into him again. A seven floor elevator journey involves a decent amount of time, so I am devising a list of questions to ask him the next we partake in aforementioned trip. Possible questions include:

- How do you manage to maintain such a great tan while living in Boston and DC?
- Why wind-surfing? Be a man, lose the sail.
- What is you favorite Jimmy Buffet song? (I am hoping he answers "Fruitcakes". "Margaritaville" is so ridiculously cliche)
- Is Manny Ortez on your fantasy baseball team?
- HOW IN GOD'S NAME DID YOU LOSE TO GEORGE W. BUSH?! (Note: this may involve me assuming a fetal position and breaking down in tears)

I will, of course, report back on future oh-so-incredibly-exciting elevator trips.

June 04, 2007

Note to the Edwards staff: Hummer driving teens not ideal campaign prop

This article wouldn't be out of place in The Onion, but sadly it's true:

Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards took on the oil companies Thursday while campaigning in Menlo Park, with the help of a San Jose teenager who says his friends can barely afford to fill up their SUVs and a Hummer.

Edwards called for the U.S. Justice Department to conduct an "aggressive and thorough investigation" of oil companies, contending the industry exerts too much control over gas production and distribution. Antitrust laws need to be enforced or strengthened to bring down gas prices, the former senator said.

"The oil companies basically own the entire process from refining all the way to sales at the gas pump," Edwards said during a stop at Stacks restaurant in Menlo Park.

He brought along Brandon Li, 18, and his mother, Wendy, to underscore how high gas prices are hurting average Americans who need short-term relief. The Lis own MCI Manufacturing, a San Jose sheet metal company.

As cameras rolled, Li complained her profit margins were being eaten into by fuel costs to run her company's four vehicles. And in her personal life it "means we have a little less to pay the basic bills."

"You can't just really say drive less because it's not a function of our daily life." Li said. "We need more immediate relief."

Brandon, an Edwards supporter who persuaded his mother to participate in the event, said he shares his parents' pain.

"My gas comes out of my dad's pocket. My friend has an SUV. It cost $100 to fill up a whole tank," he said. 'It's hard for teenagers to get enough money to put in their cars."

I think my brain just exploded. All California high school students are required to take an economics course in order to graduate, but it appears that Mr. Li hasn't completed that requirement yet. Supply and demand? WTF is that?

onion_gas_price_increase.jpg

onion_reduce_gas_usage.jpg

February 11, 2007

Comrade, those cows are an environmental hazard

We've all had the hilarious "cow-based" explanations of political systems/corporations/nations e-mail forward show up in our inboxes at one time or another. Crystal recently forwarded this new one by Mark Gilbert over at Bloomberg. A few of my favorites:

Currency Market
You have two cows. China has 1 trillion cows. Guess who sets the price of milk?

Hedge Funds
You have two cows. A guy in an open-necked shirt drives up in his Bentley and offers to take care of them for you in return for a year's supply of steak and 50 percent of their milk. They won't be allowed to leave his compound for two years.

Six months later, you have half a cow, producing sour milk. ``You have to be willing to lose rump today to get rib-eye tomorrow,'' the hedge-fund guy mumbles through a mouthful of sirloin and champagne.

Carbon-Emissions Trading
You have two cows. They produce 1.2 tons of methane gas per day. After a hefty donation to the re-election campaign of your local representative, the government gives you enough emission permits for six cows. You sell three permits, buy another cow, and apply for a European Commission grant to build a methane-gas power station.

Microsoft Corp.
You have one old, tired cow. A recent heart transplant may have come too late to save the beast.

Google Inc.
You have no cows. You slap advertisements on everyone else's cows. The milk floods in. You use the proceeds to reinvent the cow.

Apple Inc.
Nobody wants your cows. You design the cutest little milk bottle. Now, everybody wants your cows.

Commodities
You have lots of stocks and bonds, but no cows. Are you crazy? Cows are the hot new market. Here, buy this exchange- traded cow futures contract. It can't lose. It gained 40 percent in the past six months.

Gold
You have two cows. You wear a cap you made out of tin foil so that the tiny black helicopters can't read your thoughts. You spend your days blogging about how the government's decision to abandon the cattle standard in 1933 was part of a global conspiracy by the world's central banks to destroy the value of your herd.

And, of course, my personal favorite:

Russian Energy
You have two cows. Comrade, those cows are an environmental hazard. We suggest you hand one of them over to us.

(A cute little reference to Russia's propensity for "Oh, hey, (insert Western energy company's name here, i.e., Shell), looks like we've found a few environmental problems with your project (i.e., Sakhalin-2), might have to revoke your permits for that nice, big LNG facility you're building. Better to just give us a stake in that, yeah?)

February 03, 2007

Greenlight for Coachella

I'm definitely going to Coachella. Just gotta get my plane ticket. Gonna listen to some RATM and RHCP and eat some In-N-Out and Mexican food with my SoCal friends.

RATM guitarist Tom Morello was recently interviewed regarding the impending reunion:

The star said that there was a political element to the band getting back together.

He said: "Is it a coincidence that in the seven years that Rage Against The Machine has been away that the country has slid into right-wing purgatory? I think not.

"It occurred to all of us that the times were right to see if we can knock the Bush administration out in one fell swoop, and we hope to do that job well."

Do you realize what this means? When I go back to DC on April 30, apparently BUSH WILL NO LONGER BE PRESIDENT THANKS TO RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE! This is gonna be the most amazingnest concert evah!!!

"Rock music, along with other elements of Western culture, is part of an arsenal of subversive weapons aimed at undermining the commitment of young Russians to Communist ideology." - Konstantin Chernenko, General Secretary of the CPSU

January 16, 2007

California Über Alles, Über Alles, California! We're coming for you, Texas

Go read Governor Ahhhnold's State of the State and Second Inaugural Address. Dude's on a "California is the best, let's subjugate all the lesser states" roll. I'm totally glad I voted for him now! This California jingoism is what I want to hear, baby!

IMHO, Here's the best parts of his Second Inaugural Address:

And yet here in this nation-state of California, people from all over the world live in harmony. I call California a nation-state because of the diversity of our people, the power of our economy and the reach of our dream. Every race, every culture, every religion has been drawn to California. The commerce and the trade of the nations of the earth pass through our ports. The world knows our name. We are a good and global commonwealth. Yes, we have problems that must be solved. But, it remains true…what a prosperous, peaceful, golden state in which we live and work and raise our families.

We should never forget these joys and blessings of being Californians.

YEAH, we're a NATION-STATE!

As a matter of fact, the California historian Kevin Starr says that we must think of ourselves as belonging not just to the Republican Party or the Democratic Party…but to the Party of California … because California is a collective ideal worth preserving.

The Party of California is beyond ideology and one to which all of us belong.

"The Party of California" bit gave me the chills. California Über Alles, Arnold!

So, I ask you, why can't California be this dream? The Unit