Feb 21 2007

My weapon of choice for Columbia Heights livin’

by in Uncategorized

Last Friday I had to purchase a snow scraper thingie to remove the 3-4 inch layer of ice that covered my urban assault vehicle. I had to remove the ice by Saturday morning, as the XTerra was going to be very “XTerra-ish” and haul us up the mountains to go snowboarding, like it does in the TV commercials and magazine ads (although the part about the Hagerstown hospital emergency room is definitely not in the ads). It took me two effin’ hours to get rid of that ice, and cost me a quarter of a tank idling the damn thing to speed up the process. Guess I melted a few glaciers and thus killed a few polar bears by doing so. Sorry, guys.

Anyways, to get to my car I had to walk around the block and into the back alley, as the steps that lead from my room to the alley were covered in a thick, slippery layer of ice. I had no desire to plummet to my death, thankyouverymuch, so opted for the longer route to my car. While walking to my car, a man stopped me and said “Darlin’, can I have a quarter?” This happens quite often in Columbia Heights. I’ll be waiting to cross the street and the guy next to me will ask for a dollar. I’ll get to the top of the escalator at the metro and someone will ask me for a dollar. Very bizarre. I tell the guy sorry, but I don’t have anything (true, I wasn’t lying this time…didn’t have my wallet on me). He then looks at the weird ice scraper contraption I am holding and squeals “Please don’t beat me” and scurries off.

Aha! For once I am the intimidator in this ‘hood! I’m gonna start carrying this thing with me all the time. Guns are for newbs. OXO Good Grips Twister Snow Brushes are the new hotness.

Fear it.

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6 Responses to My weapon of choice for Columbia Heights livin’

  1. From boris:

    newbs is spelled n00bs

    Posted on February 22, 2007 at 5:17 am #
  2. From Lindsay:

    I know, I know…but as a 24 year old gamer, rather than a 14 year old, I try not to replace my O’s with zeros anymore…

    Posted on February 22, 2007 at 7:45 am #
  3. From El Capitan:

    “Guns are for newbs”
    Ha… so true. Next time you’re out there with your scraper, wear a kamakaze headband and school-girl outfit to really scare the crap out of the money-grubbers.
    Mortal Combat time!

    Posted on February 23, 2007 at 9:26 am #
  4. From Angela:

    Hmmmm… What I am supposed to use as a weapon here in Vegas? There’s no need for an icescraper, so I guess I’ll have to rely on a Glock. Damn!

    Posted on February 24, 2007 at 10:51 am #
  5. From Lindsay:

    Dude, I totally want to get a kamikaze headband.
    Angela, since you are in Vegas, might I suggest a weapon from Exacalibur’s “Tournament of Kings” dinner show? Certainly a mace would scare off any would be attackers

    Posted on February 25, 2007 at 12:46 pm #
  6. From Angela:

    Now that’s an idea Lindsay! Or maybe I could swipe one of those suits of armor and walk around in that. That Excalibur show does present some interesting options now, doesn’t it?

    Posted on February 25, 2007 at 4:55 pm #

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