Feb 14 2007

I’d be safe and warm if I was in LA

by in Uncategorized

We got a bit of snow down here in our nation’s capital. Just a few inches, but you woulda thought it was worse than upstate NY if you watched the local news. ICE! SNOW! PRECIPITATION! COLD! Still, I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed, from the safety of my warm blanket burrito, in order to navigate the treacherous snowbanks of Columbia Heights, sans crampons and ice axe. I was convinced that I was the only person in the city who was actually going to work today, as the streets were eerily empty of people.
The Federal government delayed its opening for two hours, but I think a lot of Uncle Sam’s finest were taking the day off. Probably sleeping in, drinking big mugs of hot chocolate with little marshmallows, and burning through their Netflix queue like whoa. “Effin’ government workers! ALL THESE SIDEWALKS BETTER BE CLEARED BY THE TIME I GET HOME! I’m not paying taxes so you can sit at home and watch ‘I Love the 80s’ reruns.” No, I wasn’t bitter at all.

Inevitably, while trudging through the snow, the question of “WTF am I doing here?” will arise. Damn, I coulda been laying by a pool in California, drinking margaritas, eating some chips and oh-so-creamy guac from Las Casuelas, listening to Jack Johnson…but noooo, you had to move back to D.C., didn’t you? Idiot! Is it cold enough for you yet?

The upside of this horrible weather is that I now own the most kick-ass pair of North Face boots in the world. After hopping over countless puddles of nasty DC street slush (and nearly falling an equal number of times) I decided to head over to City Sports in Chinatown and purchase some proper winter footwear. No more pole-vaulting over puddles for me…hell no, now I can just plow through ‘em. They’re rated for -25F or something, so I’ll be prepared if I ever find myself, say, exiled to Siberia.

I tried shoveling our portion of the sidewalk when I got home but gave up after realizing the nice, soft snow of the morning had turned into impenetrable ice by nightfall. Apparently, it’s DC law that you have eight hours after the snow stops to clear your sidewalk. Uh, yeah, arrest me for not doing so, I guess. By the way, great job you guys did clearing the streets and sidewalks around Union Station…because that’s not, like, a high traffic area or anything.

John F. Kennedy once said that Washington was a city of “Southern efficiency and Northern charm.” Truer words were never spoken.

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3 Responses to I’d be safe and warm if I was in LA

  1. From Jackie:

    Did you SEE the kind of snow we got in Albany??? 18 inches? I was the only crazy MoFo that wanted to go out and play in a blizzard. And then it got slushy and hard to drive around. BOO. Yes, I miss California everyday.

    Posted on February 15, 2007 at 10:46 pm #
  2. From CIncysundevil:

    You could always just go outside and shoot up the snow!! I say you just use your charm and cute looks to get someone to do it for you …..I’ll be there in a few hours ;)

    Posted on February 18, 2007 at 9:23 pm #
  3. From Lindsay:

    Jackie – we need to move back to CA…like ASAP.
    Cincy – if I shot at the snow, I would actually fit into my neighborhood quite well. I have a shovel but hope you are bringing a bag of salt with you :)

    Posted on February 19, 2007 at 12:05 am #

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