Quite a brilliant question to ask someone after they’ve had a few drinks, although to be fair I would have given a smart-ass response sans alcohol.
They said, “How are you working to save the earth?” (Although I remember it as “What are you doing for Earth Day?”) and I said, “Drive my SUV.”
For those of you who are fortunate enough to not live in this squalid cesspool (aka, Washington D.C., our nation’s capital, “grand old seat of precious freedom of democracy”, blah blah), the Washington Post Express is the free paper that is handed out to commuters every morning as they descend the escalators into the depths of hell (aka, Metro) on their way to dreadfully boring jobs as cogs in the government machine. Once a week they have this “Out There” feature in which they send out two people to scour restaurants for slightly inebriated Washingtonians in the hopes that they will say something stupid. The Express staff members will then take your photo and quote and publish it in next week’s paper, as demonstrated above.
Having also been featured in The Examiner, Washington’s other free newspaper, I now feel that I have accomplished everything I possibly can in this city and am ready to move on to another area where I can amuse commuters with my wiffleball skills and lack of environmental consciousness.