Theoretically, if all goes according to plan and the North Korean government has approved my visa, this is my trip’s itinerary. I’m especially looking forward to the bowling.

Tues 8th Sep
AM: Bus from office to airport.

PM: Flight JS152 from Beijing to Pyongyang, 13:00 departure, arrive Pyongyang 16:25, meet your Korean guides who will accompany you during your stay. En route to the hotel stop off at the Arch of Triumph – similar to the French version (but bigger) – commemorates the liberation from Japanese rule, the Fountain Park a picturesque area in the centre of Pyongyang (an opportunity to mix with locals), and the Mansudae Grand Monument – statue of DPRK President Kim Il Sung. Check in hotel. MASS GAMES
OVERNIGHT: Yanggakdo Hotel, Pyongyang

Wed 9th Sep
AM: DPRK Holiday – National Day: Mangyongdae Native House – birthplace of the DPRK founder Kim Il Sung, Pyongyang Metro – the deepest in the world, take a ride with the locals, picnic in local park

PM: Moranbong Park to mingle with the locals on their day off, Pyongyang Funfair, expected evening Mass Dance in Kim Il Sung Square
OVERNIGHT: Yanggakdo Hotel, Pyongyang

Thurs 10th Sep
AM: Kumsusan Memorial Palace – Mausoleum where President Kim Il Sung lies in state, Revolutionary Martyrs’ Cemetery – bronze busts of the Koreans who died fighting the Japanese occupation

PM: Victorious Fatherland Liberation War Museum (Korean War Museum) – hear and see the DPRK version of the conflict, USS Pueblo – tour the American espionage ship captured in 1968, Juche Tower – 150m stone tower with lookout platform at the top and great panoramic views of the city, Monument to Party Foundation – commemorates 50 years of Workers’ Party rule, drive to Kaesong (2.5 hrs) – a historical city near the DMZ which avoided being destroyed in the Korean War, check into the Folk Hotel where guests sleep on the floor in the traditional Korean style.
OVERNIGHT: Minsok Hotel, Kaesong

Fri 11th Sep
AM: Panmunjom/DMZ – boundary between North and South Korea, Koryo Museum – preserved Confucian museum in the old part of town, local park in Kaesong

PM: Return to Pyongyang (2.5 hrs), bookshop, stamp shop, Golden Lane Bowling Centre – where Pyongyangers go for their ten-pin fix, also has some early 90s arcade games
OVERNIGHT: Yanggakdo Hotel, Pyongyang

Sat 12th Sep
AM: Flight JS151 from Pyongyang to Beijing, 09:15 departure. End of Tour

I didn’t have much to write about regarding my April trip to Costa Rica because it basically consisted of surfing, eating, and drinking. In fact, the only semi-funny thing that happened to me while in Costa Rica occurred when my flight landed at the Liberia airport.

The Costa Rican government requires that visitors fill out a landing card which you then submit to the immigration officer. It’s just some basic information, like name, date of birth, passport number, address, etc. For the occupation question I simply wrote “analyst” without identifying the organization I work for.

The queue at immigration was moving quickly, as the officers would take a cursory glance at each visitor’s passport, stamp it, and then promptly wave them towards the customs area. Except for me.

Despite having taken three years of Spanish in high school and being forced to spend part of my summer at Spanish camp in Minnesota (yeah, figure that one out) I really had no idea what the two officers were saying as they passed around my passport. The only word I recognized was “analista”, which the officers said repeatedly as they flipped through my passport pages, examining every visa.

“Hmmm…analista, analista, analista.”

Finally, one of the officers stamped my passport, handed it back to me, and smirked.

“Goodbye, analista político.”

And that was the only time in my life when I’ve wanted to say to someone, “No, no, you’ve got it all wrong, I work in the oil industry.”

Everyday of my life is exactly like this. I know you’re jealous.

• got my tetanus shot and a 10 day supply of Cipro #
• Pastrami = greatest lunch meat ever? #
• FACT: DC has the worst metro system in the world. #wmata #
• Ugh, Virginia car tax. A small price to pay for not having to live in the hell that is DC. #
• Why do I always get stuck in the metro car with screaming children? #
• Planning a weekend trip to Tennessee in October. It's BYOBG (bring your own bibles and guns) #
• @MaryBonoMack hmmm I don't recall you complaining about out of control spending when Bush was in charge. You think the Iraq war is free? in reply to MaryBonoMack #
• Omg rite aid across from my apartment building now sells red vines and otter pops!!! #
• tempted by the Beijing shooting range/Great Wall combo tour. You can shoot anti-tank grenade launchers and anti-aircraft guns! Pure bliss. #
• The only thing motivating me to get out of bed this morning is the thought of a tasty burrito for lunch #
• Yeah, #wmata, let's run blue line trains every 8+ minutes. Great idea, idiots. #
• @lcdthethird see http://bit.ly/P7GSP
  a few other companies also offer this in reply to lcdthethird #
• @beijingfairmont see http://bit.ly/P7GSP
  a few other companies also offer this in reply to beijingfairmont #
• I love the smell of gasoline #
• a bit miffed to discover there is now a "Cali-Mex cantina" near my old dorm in London. Woulda been nice to have that in 2004-05… #
• Braved the rain for yet another burrito excursion. #
• I hate when bartenders can't pour a proper pint of Guinness #
• anyone in DC have small denomination euros I can buy off you? Or trade my large denomination euros for? #
• Arlington county fire department has a great response time. VA taxpayer dollars at work! #

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• going to see Angels vs Os at Camden Yards today! #
• Drinking dos xx at Camden yards #
• Dude how can you not sing take me out to the ballgame? WTF Baltimore? #
• Extra innings arrrgh #
• QOTD: "Taline, there are no love spoons in Bosnia. Only landmines." – Crystal #
• "Eat, Pray, Love" is one of the WORST books ever written, and they are making a movie of it! WTF. #
• Going back to the Great State of California for Thanksgiving…yay! #
• Grocery list: beer, chocolate syrup, sour cream, butter, Monster drinks, pizza. That is all. #
• @mjanderson wow, that is the most adorable thing I've seen this week in reply to mjanderson #
• I do not know my blood type. Final paperwork for North Korea trip requires it. Dude, are they gonna sell my organs or something? #
• Burrito coma, as usual #
• Drinking with a bunch of diplomats #
• Heading to harpers ferry for some river tubing #
• Survived the whitewater rapids of west virginia #

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• At PNC park…amazed how cheap seats a few rows up from how plate are #
• Almost got hit by a hot dog shot out of a potato gun #
• WTF wind turbines in Pennsylvania? Knock em down this is coal country! #
• I got a sunoco decal hell yeah!!! #
• I hate toll roads!! Stupid east coast #
• Never been so happy to be on the beltway #
• you call this weather hot?!?! #
• amazed that my new Canon Powershot is smaller than my iPhone. This will come in handy in NK… #
• Angels vs Orioles at Camden Yards on Sunday! #
• Even though I'm a bloody Yank, the NHS docs treated me, and didn't even subject me to a death panel! #welovetheNHS #
• I want to go back to Costa Rica NOW! #
• STFU Sarah Palin! #
• yay, Friday! #
• I have entered a burrito coma! #
• @mjanderson I was also thoroughly disappointed to see they wouldn't be in DC! in reply to mjanderson #

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Definitely the greatest corporate anthem I have ever heard. Go Gazprom!

Don’t bother trying, you’ll never ever find
A surer friend than Gazprom
We’re giving people warmth and light
For office and for home
We should always keep in mind
From dawn till sun down,
That our work is always needed
Working day or holiday

Let’s drink to you, let’s drink to us
Let’s drink to all the Russian gas
For those extracting the new sun
From down beneath the ground

On Sunday, Laura and I drove up to Pittsburgh for the day to see the Pirates play the Cardinals and scratch PNC Park off of our list of ballparks to visit. And yes, we did just go to Pittsburgh for the day. It’s about 3.5-4 hours from DC, and everyone thought we were absolutely insane for driving that far for a baseball game. It was worth it, though. My one complaint about PNC Park, however, is that the hot dogs there are probably the most horrible ballpark hot dog I have ever tasted. They could definitely improve on those.

With a capacity of just over 38,000, PNC Park is a rather small and intimate ballpark. Also, the ticket prices are ridiculously cheap. View from our seats in Row T directly behind home plate. Cost? $27!

• finally ate at Founding Farmers. Sooo good, but I kinda feel like a hippie now #
• Metro needs a sleeping car #
• "Dad wants to know if Bill Clinton coming to get you is part of the upgrade on the travel insurance
  package" – Mom, on my upcoming NK trip #
• @mjanderson Pyongyang is a perfectly acceptable vacation destination! My hotel has a revolving restaurant and golf course! Hard to beat… in reply to mjanderson #
• One month until China and North Korea! #
• missed this year's Great British Beer Festival #
• Hurt Locker is a great movie. Think I'm gonna go enlist in the Army now… #
• Headed to Pittsburgh for the day to see pirates vs cards #

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In exactly one month I’ll arrive in Beijing and then theoretically proceed onwards to Pyongyang a few days later. I’ve booked my accommodations in Beijing and purchased my travel insurance policy. While the policy covers up to $1 million for emergency medical evacuation, it does not cover a former U.S. President hopping on a plane bound for Pyongyang to negotiate my release if something goes awry. Still, I would really appreciate it if you guys could hold a few candlelight vigils for me if I end up in a North Korean prison.